Category: Parent Talk
Hi all!
I don't have kids of my own. I actually don't have exposure to children nor much experience. Just a little with older kids 10 or so up.
I'm visiting my family for the holidays. My niece is 7 and my nephew is 5.
They're loud..scream in play a lot..I think I got them in trouble by mistake when they jumped on the bed today. I asked them if they were allowed to do that and my niece said yes.
Turns out..they were not allowed. The mattress they were jumping on was on the floor, so I thought it was ok because they really couldn't fall off anything or hit into anything. (I tried to do a jumpingjack that was an epic fail lol!!)
They were upstairs playing and running around..my sister was all like, "go and play with your niece and nephew and get to know them.." and I'm like...totally out of my element..kind of at a loss. I kind of felt stupid I couldn't really jump with the kids..it's my sister's new house not sure of the area..
They have these things called nerf guns that shoot pholm bullits..my niece was trying to help me aim at my nephew (at his urging..) and when I kept missing my niece said she'd get him..She then proceeds to go over and hit her brother with the gun..making him cry..(this was b/c he had hit her earlier with one..) I felt responsiable..and my sister agreed and said it was my fault..cause I had given the gun to her.
I just feel totally uncomfortable with them! The screaming..fighting..I think the toys and things they play with are kind of violent..i don't know...don't have kids so not sure what's acceptable but I'm sure that varies from parent to parent. If anyone has questions let me know hope I've explained things ok..
I just wish I didn't feel so, "out of my element.." especially b/c in truth I want children or a child someday. Any help/suggestions are greatly appreciated!!! As, I get nervous and easily annoyed..
Could have something to do with there mom..a lot sets her off it seems. Then again, I don't live around here..
Remember when you were 5 or 7? Forget your age and play. Smile.
Get the dolls, cars, jump rope, sing the songs, jump on the bed, tumble?
If it is something you've not done, try it! You don't have to be a pro, you're a kid, remember?
Did you know how to do whatever on your first try when you were 5 and 7? Nope!
You get annoyed, because you refuse to hang the adult on the coat rack. Smile.
Oh, forgot. It isn't the responsible thing to do.
The only responsible measure you make as the adult, is the play must be safe.
The mat was on the floor, so as safe as these things get.
Lets play! Smile.
I can turn a flip twice and jump clean from one end of that bed to the other. Yeah!
We all use to be kids, and we all use to try to one-up the adults and turn them against each other. Just remember the things you were told you couldn't do as a child. Otherwise, if it seems wrong to you, then just tell them no, and mean it. Be firm. Don't ask them "did your parents say this would be OK?" that is probably the biggest mistake you can make. If you truly don't know whether they can or can't do a certain thing, ask the parents, not the kids. Otherwise, like I said earlier, use your own judgment. You don't have to be exposed to children to know what would be wrong and what would be right.
True, or accept the blame. Smile.
Definitely talk to your sister about what she allows the kids to do and doesn't allow them to do while they play. consistency is the big thing when relatives take care of the kids, this way the kids are aware that just because you're their aunt, this does not ean they get to do whatever they want or that the rules and expectations change for them.
Loved these replies! And, I agree with them!
Mostly, when there are no "toys," around..they play on their phones. They just got Ipods that have games and such and they're obsessed with mindcraft. It actually looks kinda neat but it's not accessible. I looked it up. It's fun to watch them though and enjoy!
So teach them some games. Smile.
Build a sand castle.
Build with blocks, let them do things you're doing within reason. Talk to them
like people. I'm not even a "kid" person -- sure for the daughter and nieces but
not strange ones really.
/me sings Grab your coat. Don't forget your hat. Leave your worries hanging on the door step.
Playing with kids just isn't a serious thing if you let yourself stop being a strict adult.
I try to get my Nephew to sing, or do what he's told, when I'm around him. When he gets a bit wild and starts kicking me, I tell him that's not allowed. "If you can't hit or kick Mama or Daddy, don't hit or kick Aunt Sarah."
I try to get him to tell me what he likes. I know some of these toys he has, and miss being a kid. He got a Sit-&-Spin for Christmas, and I wish they made them for adults! LOL I miss spinning on that thing. I was coaching him, just like his parents and Grandpa were. "Just turn the handle thing..." We'd have to shut the tv off, to get him paying attention. He loves the Chimpmunks. Hope that helps.
Blessings,
Sarah
Thank you Sarah! It's slowly getting better..it's hard to tell what mood I'll see them in whenever they come over.
I'll toss this in too.
If you're doing a job, even something as simple as washing the dishes, letting
them help you in some simple fashion, what the educator people call 'age
appropriate' ... I just would give them something small to do. They'll feel proud
that they got to help you.
Especially if you're doing something unusual and you make them feel like
they're helping.
Some things obviously you can't really do that. But having them hold something
while you work it, or anything.
Hope that makes sense to you. Kids love to feel proud.
love that idea. especially do that when the child is at an age where they want to help, instead of waiting until they're older to force the to do chores, "because you said so."